it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
