Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
