There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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