it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
