No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
