I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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