I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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