I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
