So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
