the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
