fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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