Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
