i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
