we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
