My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
