Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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