Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
