what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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