The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
