Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
