either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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