Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
