Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
please come you make the beer taste better
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
