bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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