The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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