I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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