Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
