She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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