Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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