You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
