that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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