A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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