i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
