My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
