Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
