nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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