thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am available for nakedness
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
