The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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