So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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