Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dude. I can hear the air.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
