u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
