Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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