Yo dont text me then not text me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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