I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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