just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we're so committed to being not committed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
