Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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