went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
