he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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