Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
