I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had to cum in my sink.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize