i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am mentally ready for anal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
