Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
