If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
