I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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