Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
